Alignment. Centering. Finding yourself. I have felt the need to do all these things in the past 5 months.
Anxiety overcame my mind over the holidays. I focused on negative self talk and tried to busy my days to hide it deep inside me.
Only when I started to turn my thoughts and actions back toward myself did I realize something was off.
I didn’t do anything I loved anymore. Everything I did, every hobby I had was for something or someone else. Kids, husband, business for kids and husband, in laws. There wasn’t a single moment of my day that was just for me. I even stopped painting my nails every Sunday!
I was introduced to my inner child, and it all started making sense. I started realizing that I was giving other people’s needs and opinions a higher place in my mind than my own choices. I was people pleasing.
I wanted everyone to be happy with me. When I was 7-8, my mom took me to the dr, seeing that my weight was getting out of hand. I was told that I needed to switch to Diet Coke instead of regular. I still remember my mom telling me “Kelly, we get to drink the gold cans instead of the red cans because these have no sugar in them” I wanted to make her proud, so I did it. It did nothing for my weight though because I found other foods to binge like chocolate chips and Nutella sandwiches.
I went through a heartbreak at 7 years old. Someone told me, I wasn’t good enough. I needed to change. Was it a necessary change? Of course! A little kid probably shouldn’t drink her weight in regular coke! But did it hurt to hear? Yes.
Going back and listening for the memories of my 7-8 year old self has helped me heal. Inner child work is more than letting your light shine and finding joy, it’s remembering what hurt you, even if it was a dr telling you you’re overweight at 7 years old and switching to Diet Coke.
My journey isn’t over. I still have to figure out other sources of people pleasing. I still need to remember why I turn to food every time I’m bored, tired, sad or confused. But I’ve started. I’ve invested in myself again. My inner child doll helps me turn my thoughts back to that little 7 year old Kelly with big brown eyes wondering why she needs people to love her so much.
When we reinvest time back into ourselves, we heal. The best healing I’ve found is in taking my inner child doll. Sitting her in my lap and meditating on my 7 year old self. The memories are there. We just have to find them so we can heal from them..
Start your healing. Invest in yourself. Remember the memories that shaped you. I know your inner child doll can help. We can make her exactly what you need to heal.
To Order your inner child doll, head over to my shop page. Let me help you find your littlest self again so you can start to heal.